Down and out...

I have been sick. I had a viral cold which kept on dripping and dripping and dripping. It made me very tired and short tempered. It also meant my training sessions were not very intense.

A lot of psychological issues came into my mind (i guess as i had time to think about them).

I was asking myself questions like 'Why have I chosen to give 2 years of my life to a hope that I maybe able to get to compete at the paralympics in Beijing?' It seems pretty crazy to me to give so much time and effort to the chance that you may get to do something. And how can you rationalise cycling as a pastime that you will focus on? I mean, even if I do get to the paralympics and cycle, what is it going to get me in later life? A medal is not a qualification that will enable me to get a job? So I thought about it and talked to some people. I guess I have realised why I have this dream. For me personally I want to find out how far I can push. After the brain injury people didn't think I could do a lot. I guess going to Beijing (if I do) is a way of proving to people, and myself, that I am still capable of big goals. Why cycling? It feels like cycling was meant to be. I have had so much support and met all the right people to help me achieve the dream of cycling- so I took it on.

Oh yeah, I am going to have more surgery on my foot. I think I told you that I broke my foot last year and had to have surgery on it? Well I haave been etting more pain recently and when I went back to my surgeon he advised me to get the pin removed. I am a bit nervous as I want ACC clearance to come through asap so the pin is not removed too close to road nationals. The worst thing would be if I ignored it and the pain manifested in my foot when I was at nationals. I want to do really well at these nationals so the New Zealand xompetition is not a threat.

Annaliisa is back. She was in 35 degree heat in France and now she is in 5 degree heat! She is finding it cold! She saw some of the tour, and even got pics of the riders! We went for our first ride on sunday. It only lasted about 60 km as it was raining and I had a very uncomfortable saddle. I have tried about 5 saddles and cannot seem to find one I like. My poor prosterior is so sore from having to sit on all these foreign seats! I guess I have no choice but to keep trying them though...

Oh yeah, two weeks ago Tracy and I went for a 120km ride. We did long bays and also went to purou. I couldn't believe it! In the past I used to get tired from a 40 km ride. Now I am doing three times the distance! Annaliisa is stoked with me. Now we have some sort of base to build on, so as soon as Annaliisa and Gary get my training plan sorted, it is only onward and upward from here!

Will keep you posted,
Neelu